first off let me say i love my boyfriend, and he has many great qualities that i wold not leave him. now the problem. He is lazy and irresponsable, and often incosiderate. we have been together 2 years and for part of that time i satyed home and he worked so i did everything around the house, now that i am working full time i need his help. He does not help with any house work and procrastinates on everything.He insists we split half the bills, but he makes alot more than me then ';forgets'; to pay his half and i can't afford to cover them on my own,if i don't do everything, than i suffer with things getting shut off and a filthy house. He always has an excuse like he doesn't want to do it if i'm not there to help or its his weekend and doesn't want to or its sunday and the last day he has, why should he spend it cleaning, ect. if i remind him bills need to be payed i am nagging, if i back off, thne i didn't tell him about it. i have tried everything from going on strike to doing it all.Please help advice for how to deal with my man?
Put all his stuff in a pile. His dirty dishes too. Just watch it pile. Then if the bills come and it's in his name, forget paying too. It'll hurt his credit. Finally, cut him off everything and I mean everything if u know what I mean. If he doesn't change, pack it all up and throw out the front door. Along with him. That'll be the last time u clean his stuff. Lock him out until he knows you're serious. He taking u for granted. Explain to him that ur his girlfriend not his housekeeper. To grow up and be a man. if he wants to act like a baby, he's going to be treated like one. If he wants to live in a filthy sty, he's gonna have to do it by living in the street. This guy needs a kick in the butt. If he wants money, shaving cream, he's going to have to buy his own. The freeloading stops today. Tell him u can't trust him anymore and it's destroying the relationship. And ur not going to put up with it. He just thinks your threats are idle. U have to followthrough. Or sad to say, ur gonna have to live with it.Please help advice for how to deal with my man?
you sound like an amazing woman - you work hard and even without that ';man'; you would be self sufficient, plus you would have a clean house, wouldn't be tired from picking up after a grown ';child,'; and you would be getting more precious sleep. now i have been there, done that and was in your situation for a couple of years, its hard to leave at first but then you say to yourself after a while, why didn't i leave a long time ago!!! i am curious what this ';man's'; redeeming qualities are that make you keep him around.
Dear M.C. Scr,
I know you mentioned at the begining that you love your boyfriend and don't plan on leaving him.
I could tell you, well if you love him then don't complain and put up with all the nonsense but I am going to do something better, I am going to let you know how to handle this situation the right way and the only way I know.
First, you need to learn how to love your self a lot more. Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. If you don't love your self enough, who will? He dose not care because he sounds very irresponsible. You sound responsible and also sound like you want to get your thing together. Yes you love him but your really not happy. This relationship is not in harmony. In order to be in harmony, he needs to put his part. If he was really mature and responsible, he would want everything paid on time and if he really respected you, he would help around the house. What am I saying? Well look around you and ask your self is this really worth it and again, ask your self are you really worth it? When a relationship has to many questions attached to it, you need to think if this is really happiness. When a man loves a woman, he goes out of his way to please her, respect her, take care of her, make sure all her needs are met and so on. I know you don't want to hear all this but you deserve good and better. Woman settle to much and that is what makes men believe in their destorted minds that they can treat a woman like Cr...p if you know what I mean.
Move in with your parents or get a roomate and move out and get on with your life. When he asks why your moving out, tell him you got tired of living your life alone. Doing things alone. So you might as well be alone.
Please remember that when a woman puts up with this type of behavior, you are helpign him become a bigger handicap to other woman in the future and society. Real men are not lazy or irresponsible.
Good luck and do the right thing.
They never change listen to what these people are saying. I have been married for 26 yrs. My mother in law did everything for my husband. When I married him I did the same. after 4 kids I still do it all. He never helps with anything I even mow the law because he got to lazy to do even that. If it is bad now what do you think the relationship will be like 2 yrs from now and so on. If you want to try tell him that if he helps you do such and such that it would give you more time to spend with him. If that don't work you need to get rid of him.
When two people live together, they equally share in the bills of the household. The normal 50/50 is the rent, utilities, phone and food. If you have a joint credit card (and hopefully you don't) then you both are responsible for the payment.
Each person should be responsible for their own car insurance, health insurance, and personal credit cards.
What you see is what you get in this relationship. If you started the relationship with you do everything, then it ends up he likes what you did and will continue to let you do it all. Sometimes this will never change and either you have to accept it ';forever'; or move on with life.
I learned to make sure I had my own checking account, no joint credit cards (married or not). I had my car insurance in my own name and anything else that pertains to me. This way you can protect your credit and NOT be stuck with anything that he does not pay.
You can try and set up online to pay all your bills. This way it takes only a few minutes and you both can do this together. He needs to be aware of what needs to be paid and when.
You are not alone in this world with this problem as many women face it everyday.
Kick the deadbeat out. Sounds like he's using you. Typical alpha-male. I have the similiar problems getting my roommates to clean-up. It's disguisting and degrading to live with people who expect everything given to their convenience.
hey girl let him shot hisnwad in your ahole and by god he wil;l be better i swa5tre okl
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