Monday, August 23, 2010

Please help! Advice! Is it wrong to sleep with my girlfriend's friend even though I'm a very devout Christian?

Recently my girllfriend and I are going through a rough patch. We have decided to cool it off a little bit because we have very different religious views. I'm Christian and she's a non-believer.


I have always gotten along with her friend as we both go to church together. There have always been this very extreme sexual tension between us and we both gave in to it.





The problem is that the sex is tremendously carnal and animalistic but I still like my girlfriend. Should I tell my girlfriend and how do I do it without coming off like a hypocrite as I am very devout and pure and don't want to lie.Please help! Advice! Is it wrong to sleep with my girlfriend's friend even though I'm a very devout Christian?
well first off, you're not so pure after doing that. secondly, most guys wouldn't even consider telling the girl if he wasn't a Christian.





now... with that said, there's no real way to tell her without sounding like a hypocrite (since your actions have been quite hypocritical). mostly because non-Christians seem to love seeing Christians fail and tend to not be forgiving in these types of situations. God will forgive you sure, but don't expect the world to be so forgiving. i wouldn't expect she'd like to hear that her ';Christian'; ex bf had sex with her best friend. as i said before, most non-Christians would frown upon that.





and another thing... have you never heard of be ye not unequally yoked believer with un-believer??? despite what some people try and twist that to mean, it has nothing to do with race or anything else, but believers with un-believers. so my suggestion is that you get away from your gf and her friend to avoid temptation. after all, the Lord's prayer says ';lead us not into temptation'; so why should you go running into it full force??? i realize that you probably can't just pack up and move to another state, but you can distance yourself from them in a positive way. tell them you need to get your life straight with God and the temptation when you're around them is too strong. (this doesn't mean you can't talk to them, but just that you should not spend much time with them at all... and never alone... always with a group of people around)... oh and btw never think that you can control any situation that you're in because when you think you can't be harmed by the devil tricks, that's when he gets you the easiest.





further suggestions include an enhanced prayer and reading life. maybe if you spend more time with God and less time ';doing'; other things, you'll be better off. actually not maybe... but if and when you enhance your prayer and reading, you'll find that with God helping you to resist temptation, you'll be better off.Please help! Advice! Is it wrong to sleep with my girlfriend's friend even though I'm a very devout Christian?
lol, you've got it big time. you aren't a devout Christian if you're easily swayed by this sexual tension, as you've put it. get a grip!
If you are a devout Christian like you claim you are , what do you think the answer is?
First of all, if you were such a CHRISTIAN you would'nt have sex out of wedlock. Second of all, if you had sex with her friend then you need to break up with your gf. The reason is because she deserves someone that is better than you. She deserves someone who will respect her and who will mean what the say and not be a hypocrite. If you really like her then let her go because obviously you will cause her nothing but pain.
don't do it
yes its wrong,especially if your a christain,like you say.the bible says you shouldnt lay with no one except your wife,and your not suppose to look upon someone with lust,and if you do then you already sined in your heart.
If you are asking this kind of question then you know it is wrong.
Oh yeah...devout...sure you are....
Ah, c'mon now, you know the answers here.





1) Even though you ';like'; your girlfriend, you already can see that such strong and different religious beliefs doom the relationship.


2) Sex that is carnal and animalistic is pretty much part of what sex is. In addition, clearly you are drawn to the ';friend'; in ways that are other than sexual. Mutual affection and shared values are very important in the long run.


3) Should you tell your girlfriend? I don't know!!! But please -- GET REAL!


Both of you betrayed her. I can assure you there is NO WAY that you can do this without ';coming on'; (at the very least) as a hypocrite. You are already lying to yourself bigtime. Granted you are devout, but, for heaven's sake, you are NOT ';pure';!





Time for you to learn that there are no ';do-overs'; in life. You did something you regret because you feel that it was wrong. Period. You need to come to terms with the FACT that you are NOT perfect. When you do something wrong, you follow your conscience. You already know who needs to forgive you. I thought that all of us Christians believe in sin and redemption...
it is important what u r heart is saying, if you are in tension say with u r g/f, she will be understand u, if not forget her
YES, YOU'RE WRONG..
No dude you are doing a great job work by cheating on your girlfriend ..Keep up the good work !! you are going to heaven alright !
You are not as DEVOUT as you claim you are. NO sex without marriage, remember? Mr. Devout Christian
As your minister would say repent for your sins my son, just repent.
Honestly, I think you're in a bad situation. It's best to wait for the right person to come along, and then have a serious relationship and get married, and THEN sleep together. Cus when you sleep together before that, it creates a commitment, like in one movie, Vanilla Sky, one of the main girl characters says ';When you have sex with someone, your body makes a promise, whether you do or not.'; And it's true - wait til you have someone you're Sure that you're going to spend the rest of your life with. And in this case, I don't think that it will work out between you and her - your goal in life and her goal in life is completely different, and in fact, opposite, and that tention will ruin a marriage.
UHHHHHH...yes its wrong and good luck with the hipocrite angle!
Keep it in your pants, and think of some other stories to tell. You're not very creative with tawdry tale telling.
If you were so devout then you wouldn't be having sex with her until your married and this wouldn't be an issue. Sounds to me like you have some sin in your life. Only you can decide if that's how you want to live, but in reality your hardly what most would consider devout.


-NmD!
Sex before marriage is adultery, so yes it is definatly against the word of god.





Tell her that you are sorry, but you (girlfriend and you) cannot sleep together anymore because its against the word of god.





And there is also something in the bible about being ';evenly yolked';. You probably shouldn't be dating a ';non believer';. You want to date someone that will support and maybe help you grow with your relationship with god.
whatever u do dont have sex w/ her. if she breaks up w/ u, the Lord obviously is saying she is not the 1 4 u. trust me i'm a christian also.
if u truly love ur girlfriend then just be with her ,try not to hurt her,if u didnot like the way it went and want to confront ur veiw,tell her the truth but not a straight answer,just calmly and tactfully,and perhaphs i guess now is not the right time to do so.just wait and meanwhile love her so much that it changes her to be a religoius believer and then go for the next time with her.beleive me u will see the change.all the best.
beign a devout christian isn't a license to cheat but being a devout christian doesn't mean that you shouldn't have as vigorous a sex life as you like.





If you were really traditionalist, you should be looking to marry your girl because if you're not looking to marry her then by The Book you're committing a sin. yes, in our day and age it sounds riddiculous





But coveting someone else's woman, and committing adultery are both just that, it doesn't matter when you do it, if you sleep with someone other than your wife, the bible says that's adultery. It mentions nothing about 'what if you're not married'





i don't hold that view ithink you should enjoy as robust a sex life as you need, it helps you develop into a balanced human being and allows you to think of other things once carnal needs have been satisfied.





I think you should talk to her, but I have no idea what you want to achieve with that conversation. Is she bound to find out? What do you want to achieve by talking to her? Is whatever it is a realistic goal to aim for in conversation?
Eeek. Okay, before you tell your girlfriend, you need to talk to the friend first. For guys it's not that big of a deal, but according to girl code, what she did is a big no-no. She may not be ready to come clean or she may really want to do it herself. Furthermore, cheating in relationships sets you up for cheating when you're married. Also, I have found that being a believer makes it almost impossible to be with a non-believer. That's just a whole part of your life that your girl isn't going to understand. You really need to think: Could it be maybe you and this other girl might be more compatible?
well first you should tell her and then see if she still likes you then think do you like you her? then think if it right to your religion. then you should think if you like that friend of yours.
Sin is what u believe in.





I AM
devout christian my ***.


you aren't even a good person. you can't call yourself a decent human being if you can't stay faithful to your significant other. Especially not with her friend.
once you tell her that you have slept with her friend she'll go crazy...and be mad no matter what...you could try explaining but she'll still be mad...





and it isn't wrong that you slept with her if you and your girlfriend weren't ecxatly together...so don't worry about it if she don't ask don't say anything...you'll end up hurting her or pissing her off anyway
be frank to ur girlfriend. u're in the wrong first place. so even she's angry with u, be more understanding %26amp; try 2 amend for ur mistakes. tolerance %26amp; mutual respect's most important principle in relationships. u're christian, so u should understand that to be unfaithful is sinful. if u repent, u're still hopeful. next time, think before act. i'm a man too. i really know sometimes men just cannot resist sexual temptations but believe me no women in this world'll be so generous to have her man shared with another woman. prevention is better than cure.
Its called lust you have to pray and ask jesus to take that lust spirit away from you !!!!Don't do it jesus sees all and knows all PRAY
Yeah, its really wrong to sleep with anyone, especially when you have a girlfriend, outside of marrige. Sex is Gods gift to man, and he wants it to be a pure and sacred communion between a man and his wife. By having sex outside of marrige, you are displeasing God. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, or anything, thats just what I believe personally. If I were you I'd tell my girlfriend the truth and ask for her forgiveness, and see if she is willing to work out your problems. Hope everything turns out ok : )
First off, how can you be in a relationship with a non-believer and you are a Christian. That is a sure sign right there at the beginning that the relationship was not going to work. You knew that there was going to be conflict any way it go.


Secondly, you are soo soo very wrong for that. Not only because you slept with another woman but becasue you slept with her friend. That is so again the rules of friendship. But you are not the only one at faught, the friend knew that yall were together, break or not, yall were still together. She should have backed off herself as well as you should have also. It should have never happened at all. For you both to go to church and be DEVOUT CHRISTIANS, how can you explain what happened without being looked at as a hypocrite. The first thing that your gilrfriend is going to say is something about God and criticize him for something that YOU %26amp; THE FRIEND did. You were wrong for doing it and I doubt that talking to her will even help but make things worse becasue of having to not only deal with you she have to deal with her friend too. It might not have been as bad if it was some1 she didnt know.


If my boyfriend cheated on me with an ex-girlfriend, a friend or someone that I knew period, it would hurt like hell and I wouldnt know what to do but it wouldnt be as hurtful if it was with someone I didnt know and trust and saw everyday knowing that it had been going on the whole time and I didnt see it.

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